Every Climate Prediction Has Been Wrong, but Please Keep Panicking

Congratulations, You’ve Been Scared by the Same People Who Said We’d Freeze in the 1970s. Relax. The Dinosaurs Didn’t Have SUVs and They’re Still Extinct...

Photo by Luke White on Unsplash

Now we know why he wears a mask…I wouldn’t want to be identified either!

Climate change. Climate deniers. The Church of Global Warming. Pick your fighter. Everybody wants a piece of the apocalypse because humans love a disaster story more than they love their own kids’ soccer games. The one thing nobody ever wants to say out loud? The climate has been changing forever. It will keep changing forever. The Earth does not need our permission to spin, wobble, or burp out a super volcano whenever it feels like it. But try telling that to the drama-addicted masses and watch their eyes glaze over like a donut at Krispy Kreme.

I spent 35 years as a meteorologist and climatologist. I actually studied this stuff; physics, atmospheric dynamics, chemistry, geography. I did the work. Meanwhile, your average Twitter warrior watched a Netflix special, read a Newsweek article, and suddenly thinks they are the High Priest of the Church of Global Warming. (Ahem, Al Gore.) I cannot count how many times I have started a conversation about climate and the second I mention my credentials, I get dismissed like I am chopped liver. And then come the magic words: “Yes, but…” Speaking of dumb butts, try Greta Thunberg!

Let me save you a lifetime of frustration. Everything after the word “but” is a lie. It is the universal tell that someone is about to ignore your decades of experience because their feelings are louder than your facts.

And how, exactly, do people who have never passed a college-level physics class, never cracked a chemistry book, and probably cannot find the jet stream on a map, get to tell someone who lived this field for decades that their education is meaningless? Easy. They watched a politician—also known as a professionally trained liar, say something scary on TV.

And while we are here, yes, I’m going to go here:

Follow the money. Every single climate panic headline is a cash register ringing somewhere. Politicians, NGOs, and corporations are swimming in green cash while preaching “go green.” Government grants, carbon credits, subsidies cha-ching. Fear is the best business model in history.

Then there is the hypocrisy carnival. Nothing screams clown show louder than the climate elite flying private jets to conferences to scold the peasants about air conditioning. Leonardo DiCaprio lectures the world from a 400-foot diesel-burning yacht. John Kerry’s carbon footprint needs its own ZIP code. But sure, you with your Honda Civic are killing the planet.

Meanwhile, the planet is doing what it has always done. Ice ages. Ocean rise and fall. Volcanoes blacking out the sun. Mass extinctions. All of it happened before we ever burned a single gallon of gas. The Earth has been wrecking and rebuilding itself for 4.5 billion years, and it will keep doing it long after humans are gone.

And the Apocalypse Calendar? They keep moving the goalposts. In the 1970s, we were headed for an ice age. Then acid rain was going to destroy life. Then the ozone hole. Then global warming. Then “climate change,” then “climate crisis,” now “climate emergency.” Every decade a new flavor of doom, every deadline for destruction quietly missed, and every time the media says, “Oops, new date, keep panicking.” And the Sheeple keep on Sheeping!

Speaking of the media, fear is their love language. Calm, rational science does not sell ads. Nobody clicks on “Everything is pretty normal today.” Fear gets clicks. Fear keeps the lights on. They cherry-pick disasters, twist stats, and feed the herd a steady diet of apocalypse porn.

And here is the truth bomb. Humans are addicted to drama. Disaster gives people purpose. It makes them feel important and righteous without doing a damn thing. They get to post scary headlines, yell at strangers online, and feel like a hero in a movie that never ends. Facts are boring. Fear is profitable.

So yes, the climate will keep changing. It always has. The real problem is not CO2 or fossil fuels. The problem is humans with their heads jammed so far up their asses that they cannot see daylight, addicted to fear and ready to crucify anyone who dares whisper common sense.

And to the people who still do not get it, do us all a favor. Check yourself into a hospital and have that head surgically removed from where it has been lodged since your first Netflix documentary.