Stop Talking in Circles. We’re Not Idiots...
Where I come from, we called it BULLSHIT! Pretty sure they still do!
Kathy Hochul just endorsed the guy who wants to legalize prostitution, empty the jails, and defund the NYPD.
But did she say that?
Of course not.
She said she had “frank conversations” and “carefully considered perspectives.”
She said she believes in “diverse leadership for a changing city.”
Translation?
She’s terrified to say what she actually means.
Because if she did, people would notice that New York is circling the drain and she’s the one holding the handle.
Hochul is the perfect case study in weaponized language.
She doesn’t lead.
She narrates.
She wraps failure in soft syllables so you don’t notice your city’s on fire.
And that’s not just politics.
That’s everywhere.
We’ve become a civilization of euphemisms, acronyms, and 9-syllable apologies.
And we call it progress.
Let me tell you a story.
Rome, 2,000 years ago. A man stands on a stone wall and watches the chaos below.
Vendors shouting. Kids stealing figs. Citizens yelling about taxes and politics.
If you took away the sandals and the togas, it’d look like Twitter.
And somehow, in the middle of that noise, they figured out something we haven’t:
Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
They had a rule for it. A blunt, beautiful rule.
Occam’s Razor.
“The simplest explanation is usually the best one.”
Fast-forward 2,000 years.
We’ve got AI chatbots, million-dollar consultants, and enough buzzwords to drown a horse.
But nobody can answer a simple question without talking like a malfunctioning TED Talk.
Ask a politician why your rent is insane?
You’ll hear “macroeconomic disruptions driven by inflationary volatility and housing scarcity.”
Translation: We screwed up.
Ask why your kid’s school is a disaster?
They’ll say “deconstructing inequitable legacy systems through student-centered modalities.”
Just say: The kids can’t read.
But they don’t. Because that would sound honest.
And honesty doesn’t protect their jobs.
Jargon does. Complexity does.
If they keep you confused, they get to stay in charge.
Here’s a fun history lesson:
In the 1600s, a teenage girl had seizures.
Simple answer: epilepsy.
Exciting answer: she’s a witch in league with Satan, cursing livestock and must be burned alive.
Guess which one they picked?
They always pick the fire.
Because simplicity isn’t sexy.
And drama sells.
That same disease is still here.
You just scroll through it instead of lighting torches.
Every headline: “Secret plot.”
Every tweet: “Hidden cabal.”
Every podcast: “The real truth they don’t want you to know.”
When 9 times out of 10, the truth is boring.
Someone was lazy.
Someone was greedy.
Someone was stupid.
But that doesn’t get clicks.
So we spin it. Add layers. Draw charts. Build castles of B.S.
Why didn’t your coworker answer your email?
Simple: they’re busy.
Complicated: They hate you, they’re plotting your downfall, and they’re in an HR cult.
Why didn’t your spouse call you back?
Simple: they forgot.
Complicated: They don’t love you, they’ve replaced you, and this is emotional sabotage from a brunch fight in 2019.
People build skyscrapers of drama on top of molehill truths.
Because we think complicated equals smart.
But it doesn’t.
Complicated just means fragile.
Math backs this up.
The more steps in your theory, the more chances it has to collapse.
If you hear a bang in the kitchen…
A) A glass fell?
B) A raccoon broke in, stole a spoon, and dropped it on the tile?
Occam’s Razor says pick A.
Twitter says pick B.
And your brain says: “Let’s argue about it for six hours.”
This isn’t harmless.
This is life-wasting nonsense.
You only get so many mornings.
So many thoughts.
So many neurons.
And every layer of fake complexity burns a piece of that.
Corporations do it on purpose.
"Due to unforeseen logistical adjustments, your delivery will be delayed."
No.
The driver got lost.
Governments do it constantly.
"We’re deploying multi-faceted frameworks for equitable resource redistribution."
No.
They raised your taxes and gave your money to someone else.
Gurus love it too.
"Ten steps to spiritual alignment through quantum emotional self-realization."
Try this:
Eat real food. Go for a walk. Call someone who loves you.
Here’s the part that burns:
People deserve better.
They deserve plain talk.
Not politician vomit.
Not marketing sludge.
Not some intern stapling acronyms to nothing.
When someone talks in circles, it’s because they’re hiding the truth.
Or worse — they’ve forgotten what truth even sounds like.
So here’s what I want you to do:
Tomorrow morning, when something annoys you — pause.
Ask yourself: What’s the simplest reason?
Stick with that.
News headline screams “collapse”?
Probably just chasing ad revenue.
Coworker’s cold?
Probably skipped breakfast.
Tech platform “undergoes major service transition”?
They cut half the team.
You get the idea.
Now I’m not saying the hard answer is never the right one.
Sometimes life is messy.
Sometimes it’s ugly.
But most of the time?
It’s simple.
And if it isn’t — someone’s making it messy on purpose.
Stop letting them.
Don’t be the sucker who falls for the raccoon theory.
Don’t be the one burning witches in your own life.
You are smarter than that.
Act like it.
In the spirit of "Soft Language," I think George Carlin would have appreciated this great account of insipid euphemisms.
I met you through Rob E. Today. This is my first read of yours. Very nice. Straight Talk, what a concept. I will look forward to following you. Regards, Dr Gary, Dr Tooth Elf