The “Don’t Pee on My Car and Call It Peaceful” Law Is Exactly What America Needs
Governor Ron DeSantis of Florida has taken the complete opposite tack that the Democrats of California think is the way to deal with riots!
Ron DeSantis Just Gave Protesters a Choice: Stay Peaceful or Get Flattened
Let’s be real for a second. If a mob surrounds your car while you’re just trying to get to the grocery store, let’s be honest, escape the hellscape that is I-95 traffic, should you be forced to sit there like bait on a hook?
Governor Ron DeSantis says: Hell no.
In true Florida Man fashion, he’s cracked open the legal playbook and delivered a no-nonsense message: If you're getting mobbed on a public road, hit the gas. And if a protester ends up on the hood? That's on them, not you.
Welcome to the “Combating Public Disorder Act.” Or as I like to call it: the “Don’t Pee on My Car and Call It Peaceful” Law.
The Pros: Peace Through Firepower
Let’s start with the part that makes sense:
It’s not about banning protests. It’s about drawing a line in the sand—don’t block roads, don’t get violent, and don’t assault police officers. Florida’s still got your First Amendment, they’re just not handing out participation trophies for burning buildings.
Legal clarity for drivers: If your car becomes Ground Zero for a TikTok riot, you can floor it without worrying that you’ll spend the next ten years in court explaining why you didn’t want to be yanked out of your Civic like it was a Grand Theft Auto cutscene.
Law enforcement isn’t told to “stand back and stand by.” Nope. Florida cops are empowered to shut it down before it turns into a war zone.
And surprise, surprise it’s working. Florida protests? Signs. Marching. Chanting. You know, the stuff we used to call “protests” before they got sponsored by Molotov cocktails and anarchist Twitter.
The Cons: Where’s the Line, Ron?
Now here’s where we hit the “hold up” part of the program.
It’s vague as hell. What counts as a “violent or disorderly assembly”? Who decides if a driver was “threatened”? Because if the guy in the Prius panics when a group with signs walks by, do we just let him mow down a crowd like it’s Mario Kart?
The First Amendment has a lawyer on speed dial. Civil liberties groups are watching this law like a hawk with a law degree. The minute peaceful protesters get lumped in with rioters because they were “in proximity” or some other nonsense, expect lawsuits faster than you can say “overreach.”
And then there’s the chilling effect. If people think any protest might land them in jail or under a bumper, how many will stay home instead of speaking up? That’s not freedom—that’s fear with a side of plausible deniability.
Legal Reality Check: Will This Thing Survive in Court?
So… will the “hit-the-gas” law hold up?
Short answer: Probably. But with a side of “watch your back.”